Definiteness of purpose and a burning desire for success are, according to Napoleon Hill in his famous book “Think and grow rich”, the requirements for any successful venture. Napoleon Hill is the grand-daddy of “success psychology”. I am not certain that those who have followed him (Anthony Robbins etc) have added anything fundamental – just reframed and developed these ideas. Napoleon Hill is not about wealth generation. He’s about happiness, contribution and love. He’s about the inner strength and peace that cannot be threatened as it is created from within. Read this very inspiring quote.
I want to share some semi-private thoughts this morning, as I sip my latte prior to going to work. “Semi-private” because when I post something to Marc’s Life list, it goes out to at least 70 people, which is a big responsibility :-). According to my stats only one person is subscribed to this blog (hey, whoever you are, feel free to comment :-) and I can therefore be a bit more free in my thoughts.
I am getting some negative feedback…
I have been getting quite a bit of negative feedback from friends and family lately. They are very concerned about my work and money situation. They think I have really gone over the edge this time. They think that instead of spending my time writing blogs and doing crazy psychological experiments I should be looking for a job day and night.
I can see their point of view. Our financial situation is quite serious. What I am doing is pretty “out there”. I appreciate the feedback, which I always take in the spirit of “take what you like and leave the rest”. Even when the feedback speaks more of the person giving it than of me, I have found that it often nudges me in the direction that I should be going in. If I am being over-ambitious or reckless, it makes me more cautious and deliberate. If I am being self-centered or narcissistic, it makes me pay more attention to other people.
At the same time – why is it that people can’t see that the fastest way to abundance of any kind, financial and otherwise, comes from personal happiness and well-being? Is there some cultural conditioning that enslaves so many of us into performing “obligations” our entire lives rather than pursuing our passion and joy? What is the cost of being happy – do people think I am sitting all day long in my armchair stoned on coffee writing blogs, doing nothing to find a job and merrily moving towards bankruptcy?
Sigh.
Last night I looked at Rebekah…
Last night I looked at my wife and I asked her: why is it that people don’t get that personal happiness and well-being is the key to everything? She said, I don’t think it’s that, rather they don’t understand your particular kind of happiness. Sharing one’s most intimate thoughts all over the internet and living on the edge as much as you like to do is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Then I asked her: did you know how weird I was when you started going out with me? She said “No”.
Finally I asked her: and what about now? You’ve seen my life take off over the past 4-5 months, as I have become deliriously happy almost all the time – do you think I am deluded? Do you believe that anything is going to come of this? And she said: “I have been watching, and I am detached from the outcome.” And she smiled at me and we were both very happy. And I said well, that is the most that anybody could ask for. Rebekah is the best wife that any man could hope for.
And here it where it gets pretty “woo-woo”…
I am going to share something that may sound totally wacko: I am certain that this sleep experiment will succeed. Despite anecdotal evidence that 2% succeed at Uberman sleep, I can tell right away that it is for me. This is a pre-rational instinctive “knowing”. I think that people fail because they do not understand the success factors. Steve Pavlina has laid out the program in great detail. There is no reason that I can think of, that any motivated person who has flexibility in their schedule and a reasonable amount of physical health and emotional stability could not replicate his experience.
And in my case, “motivated” is an understatement. What I am looking to solve is the second great problem of my life, that has been obsessively preoccupying me for the last 25 years, which is my relationship to time. The first problem – the attainment of personal happiness and the ability to create love in my life and to have a successful relationship with a woman – has been solved. By comparison, the problem of my relationship to time seems quite trivial.
So when I call this an “experiment” I am actually lying. As much as it’s possible to predict outcome in human affairs, I know this is going to work.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”
– W.H Murray (sometimes erroneously attributed to Goethe)
And the actual Goethe quote:
“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
– Goethe
An update on the Polyphasic sleep experiment, and some further thoughts on personal development and loneliness
I have postponed the start date of the polyphasic sleep experiment until Tuesday Dec. 23. It’s important that I begin this well-rested, sober from coffee for at least 3-4 days, and in a good emotional and physical state. And it still gives me almost a full 2 weeks before I need seriously consider “getting a job”. If I do need to get an office job, I will shift to Everyman sleep and still achieve 80% of my objectives.
Freedom from stimulants, especially caffeine, is critical both during adaptation and afterwards. I am not able to do this – or perhaps unwilling to – while working an office job, for any longer than about a week. I have given up trying and I now think that this is a limitation of my current stage of development. To a large degree I have made peace with this as I consider it a temporary condition. My last day of work is today, so this is a new beginning. I love new beginnings and I am unexpressibly happy right now.
About loneliness and the human condition
Personal development / self-actualization can be a lonely pursuit, for reasons that are inherent to the human condition. Nobody can truly and fully understand another’s feelings, personal history and motivation. And we all are, by necessity and rightly so, fundamentally pre-occupied with ourselves. When we come across something that does not have an immediate impact on our lives, we move on. Plus, few people have time to read among the busy-ness of our lives.
Of the 300 or so people on my list, a minority read my stuff with any regularity. Even fewer have an interest in polyphasic sleep, and only one or two will ever try it. Someone even told me this morning that they have no interest in hearing about something where there have been no large-scale studies. What does one say to that? Nothing. Fundamental change from the inside-out is not something that everyone is called to. And this is a good thing – the world needs businessmen and priests and soldiers as much as it needs explorers and adventurers. Someone needs to “keep the home hearth burning”. But if I can inspire anyone towards a deeper examination of their lives – if anybody who reads this takes a moment to enjoy a sunrise or tell someone that they love them, have my efforts been wasted? I think not. And if even one person on my list, or who finds this article in a search, is actually inspired to make some radical life change as a result, I would feel myself richly rewarded. I actually suspect there are quite a few people reading this who are intrigued and waiting to see how it goes for me before they would consider diving in themselves. I think that is smart :-).
Loneliness as a choice?
With regards to the loneliness, that is a price that I have agreed to pay long ago. That is, for example, one of the reasons why I love third-world adventure travel: I always experience the most intense kind of loneliness while traveling alone, and it always generates the most profound experiences for me to be confronted with that.
There is a part of me that wishes that I had more time to reach out to people right now and develop my network. This will happen – just yesterday I wrote on the Lifestyle Design site that there will surely come a time when I will have said everything that there is to say about myself, and I will be bored with myself.
But for now, this is about me. I say this with no shame. The process of self-discovery, of finding my rightful place in the world and defining my relationship to my creator, is the most thrilling adventure that I could imagine anyone ever undertaking.
Next (and final article in this series for a while): My Manifesto, Part 2
